Peace-Keeping or Peace-Making?
July 1, 2019
If you have ever walked across a suspension bridge you know that the two most stable points of the bridge are on the opposing sides, and the most unstable point is in the middle. It is in the middle where things can get shaky/scary (Red= "Stop"). Engaging in conflict with our teams can feel like walking across a suspension bridge.
When we approach the conflict we might be tempted to return to the perceived safety of where we started rather than pushing through the discomfort of the middle. Our fear of the middle (Conflict) will leave us with a Provisional-Peace (Yellow="Caution") where we will never quite be sure of the stability beneath us. We might wonder if our team is being fully honest with each other or if they are holding back for fear of hurting someone's feelings. This fear might be reinforced when we experience passive-aggressiveness from others.
When we take the first step beyond Provisional-Peace, it will feel like our stability is decreasing. This initial instability will slowly turn into an increased stability. Slowly and steadily we will start increasing our chances of experiencing Genuine-Peace (Green= "Go"). Genuine-Peace differs from Provisional-Peace in that we don't have to wonder if the bottom is going to fall out beneath us. Instead, we will experience the security of standing on solid ground and we can move forward with confidence.
Of course, a basic level of trust must be present before we engage in conflict with our teams. At the same time, we increase trust with each other as we engage in the conflict. The most exceptional leaders are those who are able to share a vision of the necessity and pay off of healthy conflict. These leaders don't just paint a picture for their people; they walk with them across the bridge and help them enjoy the payoff.
When we take that initial step toward conflict it will feel like our stability is decreasing (-), but as we move toward the source of conflict, and beyond, we will experience increased stability (+). From here we will experience new opportunities that we weren't able to see before. Experiencing Genuine-Peace does not mean that we simply move beyond conflict into some kind of conflict-free land. Effective conflict management and resolution is necessary for every team's growth. In order to experience Genuine-Peace we must consistently engage in the necessary and unsettling work of conflict.
Questions to Marinate In:
How has your inability to step into conflict with individuals and teams kept you and your team from opportunities?
What kind of Peace is your team currently standing upon?
What has the Provisional-Peace cost you? How would Genuine-Peace benefit you?